Monday, April 12, 2010

Dangit, what day am I on?

This challenge has been pretty decent.  No so hard on some days.  Like today - when I forgot all about it and nagged my husband nearly into a coma.  But hey, have pity on me.  I am a Navy wife after all and have to withstand being married to the entire Navy on most days.  So most of that nagging is on THEIR behalf.  And we sweet delightful, long-suffering husband gets to endure my outrage. 
Having said that...we press on through week one.  I think I have been a smidge better in the negativity category but there is much....MUCH room for improvement.
Building my husband up continues to be a pretty easy job for me.  Especially since - sincerely people - he is SO dang helpful.  It may not be the kind of helpful that I want at that very minute (and so it often goes unnoticed) but when I sit back and look.  He is great about being a help to me.  And when I see other husbands and how much THEY help.  I am doubly reminded NOT to complain.
Today's challenge was about finances.  I do not pretend in any way shape or form to have a clue about that.  There is no need to criticize my hubs about that.  He's a financial genius, and he is the only thing that keeps me from driving us to financial ruin.  However, my desire to reign in the spending has been going fairly well. 
Bring it on week 2.  Let's see how this goes!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Day 2

The day started out so well, we had time together this morning and that doesn't really happen anymore. Somehow the day went totally downhill, my youngest daughter is sick, my oldest needed an 8 year old attitude adjustment and while I love my husband beyond comprehension, I just got annoyed and was cranky. Not exactly snappy or rude but just not really going with the plan. Today was hard day to do for him, to praise him and buy him something. We just bought a house and he has been buying various tools and our mutual 'honey do' list is so long, how would I buy a tool or something for him without it reminding him of the list. Instead I'm going to end the day with tucking him in bed, telling him I love him and I'm grateful for him. Lord, please help me, tomorrow needs to be better. Didn't I say this yesterday???


So this challenge for me is the most challenging because I have verbal diarrhea.  I blab about my good feelings, my bad feelings, you name it.  I can talk about my emotions until I am blue in the face.  So keeping my mouth clamped shut when I want to criticize has been the hardest part.  And the truth is, my husband is great.  He is helpful around the house, he works really hard and he takes good care of us all. 
Today's big challenge is to make sure we are not taking our husband's job and how hard he works for granted.  Telling my husband how grateful I am that he works and provides has never been really hard for me.  I'm really good with the words of affirmation.   But what I have been challenged today is - am I working for our family in kind?  Do I spend too much time indulging myself or spending too much money when my husband is working his hind end off all day.  There are definitely days where I am working a double, triple, quadruple shift.  And YES I deserve to treat myself after some hard days.  But I have noticed that I have been a little easy with the spending money.  And if I am not a  good steward of the money my husband works so hard for, I am not respecting his time and efforts. 

And TRUST ME!!!!  I hate admitting this.

So that is something that I am begrudgingly working on. While continuing to hand out the praise like candy.  But the hard part is biting my tongue.  I'll let you know how that goes tonight after work when I am cranky.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I made it until 9:32pm...

Does the day count if you make it until after 9pm? Somewhere it's the next day that starts anew, right??? I told him I loved him, tussled his hair, kissed him, praised him for helping me grab some groceries, thanked him for talking to Apple tech support for MY computer and phone and said 'I'm so grateful to be married to you'. I even told someone else that I love him and he is such a great husband. But at 9:32pm I finished working walked into our kitchen and found the spaghetti sauce still in the pot and my kitchen a nightmare and realized after the snotty words had escaped my lips that I had vowed to do 3o days of support. I don't think being a snotty wife is what the challenge meant by saying show loving support. Why can't I remember not to say anything if I have nothing nice to say. So I will go to bed and pray that tomorrow I will do better.

Day 3?

So if we blow it completely day after we start back at day one?  The first day was a complete bust and I was a pretty nasty BEOTCH to my hubbers.  Day 2 I found it slightly more attainable to not poke him in the eyeballs.  Much of the challenge lies in the fact that my husband is a delightful 13 year old boy who finds great satisfaction and pure joy in teasing me relentlessly.  On a good day it leads to a lot of laughs and banter.  On the bad days it leads to mean and nasty wife on the loose.  But each day I have tried - whether I have been feeling it or not - to take a minute to tell my husband I love him.  This morning I mentioned that I feel very lucky to be married to him.  Which he so lovingly took an opportunity to mock me.  Hmmm...have I really not been nice to him all along?  I think so.  I am pretty generous with the loving talk, and compliments.  But it just isn't Dan's love language.  It's time to start getting creative and try to speak my husband's love language.  With my pants on of course.